Its where I want to be. I realized after years of not blogging why I may have stopped in the first place. Learning photography brought me to iStock.com, iStock brought me to VOX, vox allowed me to talk to very intelligent people on the subject of photography and the likes. From you I learned a wealth of information. All of which I quickly discarded and moved on from because its my nature. But the least is I learned how to take photographs and have an eye for quality control.
My internet life has become overwhelmingly personal in recent years. With the explosion of real life users like family and friends marching on the key board, my ideas have become more and more introverted. I now sit and store all ideas and thoughts in my head simply because of the over all persona I have built to keep those I know at bay and have them think I am another robot like them. My old school blogging ways allowed me to really be may as I meandered through many travels including recovering from what I seen in Iraq and learning my ways through Fine Art. Now I find myself wanting to return to this world to place my ideas in a form for me to read and reread as needed. Maybe even for others to read and become inspired. Thankfully, timestamps will confirm that any ideas that I write, I wrote at a given time thus being mine so I don't fear those who may use these ideas. I doubt by a large margin that anyone who reads this will have any desire to do what I am doing, its suicide! I will also post photographs no larger then 800px on the largest side to protect my intellectual property. No one has my Prophoto 16bit files so I don't care who takes my 800px image and put it here or there. I print my own stuff so if someone takes my stuff and prints it, they will surely get a crappy outcome.
All in all, I look forward to writing and thinking again. I know of only one person who is sure to read these posts and for that individual I write as well as myself. For the rest, I care less about their reading of my stuff but welcome it. I will not try to bring traffic to my page nor will I try to drive traffic to other pages. This blog is being developed to publish my ideas both visually and textually.
Before I resign to another task, I will talk about the image above. A set of cards found during cleaning of a studio which belongs to an artist I work with. This studio was obliterated by time and stress for ten plus years. Dust, mouse droppings, water spills, paint, metal, you name it, it exists. It took about five strong organized hours to bring half the studio to life. The other half will be a load of work as well but its coming together and inspiring us both. Among this mess was a short set of vintage pin up playing cards. Gorgeous young and aged women grace the stack flaunting their assets in their own provocative ways.
I thought of those who may have used these cards, kids in their mid teens, gawking at these beautifully natural women of the fifties. They may have fought over the cards and a card or two may have escaped into the pocket of a boy. Maybe older gentlemen stored these in their closets as keep sakes to their past. Dare I call these times innocent? Looking at sex or sexuality today is a far cry from even the most liberal of female exposure fifty years ago. Desensitization is purely an understatement. One I am sure felt so dirty having these cards. It was their paradise in a world of shit. Today, there is plenty escapes to run to. Porn sites, drugs, alcohol, pick your escape. The escapes today seem less reflective and more... true escapes. Diving into a game for eight to twelve hours, watching porn for a few hours, smoking pot and being stoned for half your day. Drinking liqueur and killing the next day by way of hang over. It never ends.
This card offered me a glimpse of a possibly tragic moment. Like the painting "La Nascita Di Venere" by Sandro Botticelli, I start to wonder is she offering her self to the viewer or in the process of concealing herself. Mens Rea, latin for the guilty mind. Have we chose already what they are doing based on our own guilt to what we want to be done. Are we starting to choose what we do based on pleasure while factoring out moral law? This card reminds me of this idea. We have chosen for her to take her cloths off and from that point we find ourselves here today. We have allowed ourselves to view her regardless of her intention, justifying her reason for being there in the first place.
So yea I traveled into a card for a second. Did these ideas pop into my head while cleaning, not at all. Cleaning was in my head and ideas inspired by what I had found throughout this studio. Ideas still left to be talked about, maybe another night.
Works pretty well on the fly!
Also, I picked up some new yarn that is going to look AMAZING on Hazel! I'm going to make this into a snowflake fair isle sweater sometime in the upcoming year for next Christmas.
That's what I have - the Silliest Girl.
Today she took my sweatshirt and ran around and around the living room with it draped over her shoulders. She is so funny and amazing and cute and AWESOME.
Most of you know that I love me some cameras. And that usually means Nikon over other brands. Earlier in the year I purchased a small, pretty cheap digital "pocket" camera to have on hand for quick snapshots and the like. It was pretty great, considering the price, except that I lost it somehow in October. Since then I've been biding my time (you've noticed, perhaps, the dearth of new Hazel photos? yeah that's why) until Black Friday. I knew someone would have something good on sale then, and sure enough, Target listed the Nikon S203 for $50 off:
OOOHHHHH, Fancy!
I bought this camera online Thanksgiving night and have been anxiously awaiting its arrival. Today, BOOM! It's here!! I rip it out and start charging the battery right away. I mean, it has been a while since I've photographed Hazel, just because my bigger cameras are way more difficult to get out; one has to be put together, even, before I can use it. Anyway, it finally finishes charging, so I take some sample photos just to get a feel for how everything looks, and this mess faces me on the screen:
Yes. AWESOME. This was taken in the daytime, albeit with a flash. LOOK HOW PRETTY IT IS. If you like pixelated bullshit then this camera is for YOU!!!!
Seriously!?!!!?!??!?!!
How did this camera get through production?! IT IS TOTAL JUNK. You can see the noise even in this small size! I am so disappointed and upset. I waited, planned, bought, and shipped this to my door only to use it FOR FIVE MINUTES and then pack it immediately back up to return. I'll be going back to Target tonight and buying another camera.
ETA: Actually, I chose a 12.1 MP Canon Powershot from Target. It has amazing reviews and was only a little more expensive (at about $130 on sale versus the $95 with tax for the other). Also, call me crazy, but I like a little camera that takes double A's instead of lithium batteries. I have a charger for double A's, so I just keep them on a rotation, plus it makes for a slightly bigger camera. I don't like the razor-thin tiny plastic ones that are so popular these days (and that Nikon I just returned fit that mode too). The new camera should be here next week, maybe even Monday, so we'll see how it goes.
For reasons too confusing to understand the "Hello My Name is Jeff Vader" merchandise has been relocated to Printfection.com.
The move added a few dozen more items and in some cases lowered the pricing.
Today I finished blocking the Clapotis I have been working on for my grandmother:
I love it. LOVE IT. I want to wear it! Obviously, I'm going to have to make myself a snuggly wrap/shawl immediately. Bonus, I have about 5 skeins leftover from this project (Knit Picks skeins are only 50 grams - super small, really), which means that I am going to make a Feather and Fan cardigan for Hazel.
Actually, I am finally working on a project for myself, which is called the February Lady Sweater. I have had the yarn and buttons for this sweater since JANUARY. That's almost an entire year ago. This will be the third project I have ever made for myself, following a phone cover and a tampon case. Yeah, I know - both of those things are tiny and they suck. I have really pretty yarn, sort of a slightly heathery hunter green, with dark wooden buttons. Now that I am done with Christmas knitting, I just have this project and a blanket for Hazel on the needles. Wow. I haven't been working on only two things since probably last year! LOL
Anyway, as the school year winds down for me (only 1.5 finals and one more week of homework to go), I hope to get this finished rather quickly. I have never made an adult-sized sweater, so I wonder how it will progress. If the lace pattern (oh yeah - this is also lace!! another new frontier!!!) agrees with me, then I'm going to make Hazel a matching version as well.
If you didn't already know we were related, this picture might convince you.
Hazel and I were trying to pose for a picture (meaning I was trying to get her to stand still and look at the camera simultaneously) and she bumped into me, causing me to accidentally fire the trigger. This is a pretty funny picture, though, and honestly my favorite kind of photo is this kind. That wide-eyed wondrous expression on her face and the dorky, bug-eyed one on mine are really how we look. And that's just fine by me.
As you may know, Amos and I have been pretty strict in a bedtime routine for Hazel. We started giving her a bath and reading The Goodnight Book when she was about 6 weeks old. Gradually she got to the point where she understands as soon as we take off her clothes for the tub that it's bedtime. Now she's so used to the routine that we can have a little fun without making her fight sleeping!
Murphy's Law states the following:
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Also, all the sweaters Laura knits for Hazel will be at least 2 sizes too big.
You may think that I added that last bit. Well, it's always been there, but no one cared because it didn't make sense until I started knitting sweaters for Hazel and they all turned out HUGELY HUGE.
Case in point:
Knitters, you might be able to tell that this yarn in super bulky weight. I know - not all that practical for a toddler sweater, but I had 2 skeins from the first year I started knitting, and what else could it make? I actually had to hunt down and purchase another skein for the sleeves, but that's another story. Anyway, it's huge. It's a parka. For a three-year-old. A big three-year-old. It's cute, and I do like the big buttons we picked out today (even if they aren't spaced evenly; that's something else I can't seem to do correctly), but I wish it fit her right now. Next year she is going to wear a hand-knit EVERY DAY OF THE WINTER.
Also, as a side note: when I was trying to get pictures of her in this, which is much harder than it used to be when she couldn't walk, I made her wear a plastic cup as a hat. She wore it, which is the funny part!
Also, she liked to bend her head waaaay down and lick the top button. I mean, it's her sweater, right? Mama's hand-knits are cool to wear in 7 years AND taste great!
I woke up with a goal in mind. Today, yes TODAY, I was going to finish up this proposal/research paper that has been hanging over my head like a guillotine. The word limit was 3000-5000 words, and I have had 1300 words (all appendices and the introduction) finished for weeks now. Research is piling up on my desk, with tons of notes and outlines, but I have been sitting behind the biggest writer's block of the century. Add to that a sick baby for a week, meaning she stayed at home with me rather than go to the sitter, and my work time/desire has been shot. Until last night, when I just shook myself and said, "Tomorrow. DO IT TOMORROW."
So, after having a banana and some coffee at my desk this morning, I dove into the material. About 6 hours later I hit "save" on the nice, neatly formatted 3900-odd words and started high-fiving my computer. Seriously, I could have danced some kind of Irish jig if I had any Irish rhythm. Not only did I finish with rough draft, with just minor stuff to add next week after one more interview, but I had another hour and a half at least until Amos and Hazel would be home! WOOOO, SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!
To celebrate I decided to take a shower AND use a sugar scrub. I know, it's like my own private honeymoon with myself! After stepping into the special, awesome, Vera Wang, Amos-gifted robe that I can't wear around a baby, I thought a little apple wine might be nice while I let my hair air-dry. I always let my hair dry for about 20, 30 minutes before using the blow dryer, so why not make that time special when I'm feeling so awesome, right? Right! My good friend Amy gave me two bottles of homemade apple wine last summer, one of which was chilling in the fridge for just such a moment. I poured a glass and settled down at my computer to catch up on all my favorite blogs.
My phone rings from the kitchen. I stand up, stumble into the hallway, and realize two things. First of all, I'm walking down the hall bracing myself on either side with my hands. Secondly, I'm walking like that because I'm drunk. Like, druuuuunk. Drunk-dialing drunk. Mouth open drunk. Bangs are in my eyes and I'm not moving them because I don't see them drunk. Yep. And, being drunk, I think this is pretty funny.
See, I kind of skipped lunch because I was in a writing fury. And I kind of wasn't hungry because I drank 6 cups of not-decaf coffee today after breakfast. Yeaaaaah.
All I can think is that I have GOT to eat and it has to be NOW because if Amos comes home and sees me I am going to be kind of embarrassed. I blow-dry my hair, whipping that machine around (FYI, not all that fun if you're drunk), throw on a flannel, and careen down my crazy steep staircase, hoping to duck into the natural foods store below us and grab some kind of granola to soak up the wine. I bust out onto the sidewalk and hear "It's Mama!!!!" from across the way. I turn in classic slow-motion to see Amos and Hazel waving like adorable maniacs, mouths open and everything. Of course he can tell something's up, and of course he pokes fun at me while we're in Tom's. It's only when we get upstairs, and he sees how little is gone from the bottle, that he actually laughs so hard he has to put Hazel down before he drops her.
The moral of this story is that if you have a cool husband he'll take you out for Mexican so you can sober up at 4 pm.
